IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME

This guy was thin tall and dynamic. In a recent training program he introduced himself as an achiever. He was just 26 years old. He had won many sales trophies, certificates, incentives within a short span. He had not let go a single incentive. In his first year of employment, his incentive earnings were two and half time his CTC. He became a member of the achiever’s club, with an extra incentive of another  25%, with a sponsored holiday for his family. He had his share of gold and silver medals.

I am a guy who takes life cool. I have never chased many things, because for me being in a comfort zone is more important. I would rather let go than be driven to run after the eternal carrot.

But everything comes as a package.  Comfort zone entails an ordinary existence, but lets you enjoy life at your own pace. You can stop to admire the flowers, listen to the sea, sip hot black coffee, while listening to your favorite song.   But certainly you will not have much money.

As I listened to his narration, I so admired this young man. He was a good provider, a grandson, son, brother, husband and a loving father. He took care of the entire family. He financed his sisters marriage and educated his brother; things which I had never done till now, even at 60years.  I even started to feel slightly ashamed of myself.  As his narration continued, I felt that maybe even I should have been ambitious. But it was already too late for that.

The day went by. I showed him as an example for other trainees to emulate. We had a lunch break. I saw him eating lots of fruits and vegetables. Now my admiration moved up even more. Achiever  with a good sense of nutrition, oh! Excellent.

We met once again for dinner. He smiled at me, and I invited him to join me at my table. His plate was loaded with salads, fruits, curd and a very small quantity of rice.  

I looked at his plate, and at him with and questioning look. He smiled at me sheepishly and said,” I eat these, as I have no other choice.”  He continued,” I suffer from Irritable Bowel  Syndrome, [IBS]. I suffer from gas, griping pain, indigestion, and frequent motions. So I am forced to eat a bland diet. “

Now like a pendulum, my feeling for him went from one to another extreme, from admiration to empathy. Just 26 years old, and unable to eat the tasty dishes. Of what use was all the wealth and fame and achievements before this suffering.?  Our ancestors always emphasized the importance of health. Because  health is the basis of life.

Of course even though IBS is associated with ambitious achievers and stress, it can affect even the calm guys. The character connection is yet to be scientifically proved. But nevertheless, if it is because of this materialistic drive, maybe we could modulate our desires to live a more comfortable life.

He had tried a full course of PPIs with domperidone for a month, and also taken rifaximin 400mg twice daily for 10 days, with the support of lactobacillus supplements.

I requested him to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy done to rule out polyps and cancer, and maybe try homeopathy which provides good relief.  He said he would do it ASAP. 

Well I hope he gets better. If health is set right, that itself would be an achievement.

Hermit Crabs and Human Beings by Erika Andersen

Every year, my husband and I take a break from the New York winter and spend some time unwinding on a beach.  For the past four years we’ve gone to Jamaica.  Mostly it’s pure lovely downtime – I really make the effort to “contain” work, so that I just have one 30-60 minute session of emailing or blogging each day.  Like right now.

My brain really never stops considering things, though – that’s just how I’m wired – so I thought I’d share something cool with you that I just found out.  Yesterday at the beach, Patrick brought me this fascinating creature (the picture above); a big sea shell with a claw sticking out of it.  He said it was crawling along the beach by pulling itself with its claw.

I looked it up just now, and I believe it’s a hermit crab. They have long, soft bodies that they curl into an abandoned shell (whose original occupant has died), and then grasp into the shell with their “tail” – really the end of their abdomen. As they grow, they need to find progressively bigger shells. But then I started wondering – how do they find a shell that’s the right size when they need it?  They must be very vulnerable to predators, I reasoned, when they’re between shells.

Then Wikipedia gave me a really interesting answer:

Several hermit crab species, both terrestrial and marine, use “vacancy chains” to find new shells: when a new, bigger shell becomes available, hermit crabs gather around it and form a kind of queue from largest to smallest. When the largest crab moves into the new shell, the second biggest crab moves into the newly vacated shell, thereby making its previous shell available to the third crab, and so on.

And I started to think about how “vacancy chains” are a big part of human life, as well. It’s just that they’re somewhat more complex, so harder to see.  But, for instance, every time someone moves to a larger/better house, it starts a vacancy chain.  Every time someone moves to a bigger/better job: a vacancy chain. And we’ve used the internet to create more efficient vacancy chains, too: to sell stuff we no longer need because we’ve acquired a newer or better version, to let other people know that we’re wanting to move on to a better relationship, organization, dwelling.

There’s an internal analogue as well.  When we learn something new, or understand something that previously eluded us, we’re moving to a bigger comprehension of the world and abandoning our outgrown worldview.

That kind of internal change is difficult; we feel vulnerable when we’re ‘between understandings.’ But here’s an inspiration to keep growing and ‘moving along the chain’ mentally and emotionally: when we cling to a smaller understanding of ourselves or the world around us, we’re actually getting in the way of evolution.

Keep moving…..

HOW WELL DO I KNOW YOU?

All of us get our first impressions about people. But when we get to know them better, we may find that our impressions too have to be changed.

In one of the many sales conferences, I met  one of my colleagues, for the first time. After initial introductions, and firm handshakes, I got the impression that he was a “Type A” personality. 

 Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, urgency,  impatience and a competitive drive.

I took an immediate dislike towards him. We had some arguments and his retaliations were crude and hurting.

It was quite some time before I met him in another conference. This time we had to share the same room.  I avoided any unwanted conversation with him. Why get into arguments?

We had a silent dinner, and returned to the room. He switched on the TV and surfed till he reached a channel playing old Hindi  songs.

The song that came next was  one of my favorites,” Hamne Dekhi Hai Un Aankho Ki Mehekti Khushboo” by Lata Mangeshkar , in the film Khamoshi. It is a song, that describes love, as a mystic would. But I was not sure about the lyrics. I told this to him. Immediately he quickly wrote the lyrics on the hotel pad lying on the table. I thanked him, and told him how much I loved the song.  He told me that the song was his favorite too. We opened up to each other, and I found that we had a lot in common. We talked, talked and talked, late into the night, until about 2.30 A.M.  Next day we had to leave o our respective destination. We shook hands warmly and promised to keep in touch.

Recently in one more training program, I met a colleague; young, dynamic with good qualities of a team leader. But he was always busy on the mobile, carrying with him a streak of stress. I sensed that something was wrong with him, wondering to myself as to what could it be.  I was not able to fathom it, despite a week’s interaction.

Later in yet another program a month later, we dined together. It was a dinner on the open terrace. As we talked, he told me that his dad was a security guard, and had taken pains to educate him, although,  they were poor.  He was married, and had two children. The eldest was seven years old. The younger had died of cancer before it could complete its fourth birthday.

He tried his best to get over the over whelming tragedy, but not before he lost his previous job. He was unemployed for a year; the time he took, to slowly return, to near normalcy.  My heart went out for the young man who had suffered so much in such a young age.  I could now understand the traces of stress that ran through his soul. It is difficult to be balanced all the time. When life dishes out something beyond our existing capacity, it takes time to be processed into a stronger person.  There is pain in the processing, but pain is the price we have to pay, for a better understanding of life.  

Now I had to change my first impression of him; from a stressed person, to a person becoming stronger.

 l