HOW WELL DO I KNOW YOU?

All of us get our first impressions about people. But when we get to know them better, we may find that our impressions too have to be changed.

In one of the many sales conferences, I met  one of my colleagues, for the first time. After initial introductions, and firm handshakes, I got the impression that he was a “Type A” personality. 

 Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, urgency,  impatience and a competitive drive.

I took an immediate dislike towards him. We had some arguments and his retaliations were crude and hurting.

It was quite some time before I met him in another conference. This time we had to share the same room.  I avoided any unwanted conversation with him. Why get into arguments?

We had a silent dinner, and returned to the room. He switched on the TV and surfed till he reached a channel playing old Hindi  songs.

The song that came next was  one of my favorites,” Hamne Dekhi Hai Un Aankho Ki Mehekti Khushboo” by Lata Mangeshkar , in the film Khamoshi. It is a song, that describes love, as a mystic would. But I was not sure about the lyrics. I told this to him. Immediately he quickly wrote the lyrics on the hotel pad lying on the table. I thanked him, and told him how much I loved the song.  He told me that the song was his favorite too. We opened up to each other, and I found that we had a lot in common. We talked, talked and talked, late into the night, until about 2.30 A.M.  Next day we had to leave o our respective destination. We shook hands warmly and promised to keep in touch.

Recently in one more training program, I met a colleague; young, dynamic with good qualities of a team leader. But he was always busy on the mobile, carrying with him a streak of stress. I sensed that something was wrong with him, wondering to myself as to what could it be.  I was not able to fathom it, despite a week’s interaction.

Later in yet another program a month later, we dined together. It was a dinner on the open terrace. As we talked, he told me that his dad was a security guard, and had taken pains to educate him, although,  they were poor.  He was married, and had two children. The eldest was seven years old. The younger had died of cancer before it could complete its fourth birthday.

He tried his best to get over the over whelming tragedy, but not before he lost his previous job. He was unemployed for a year; the time he took, to slowly return, to near normalcy.  My heart went out for the young man who had suffered so much in such a young age.  I could now understand the traces of stress that ran through his soul. It is difficult to be balanced all the time. When life dishes out something beyond our existing capacity, it takes time to be processed into a stronger person.  There is pain in the processing, but pain is the price we have to pay, for a better understanding of life.  

Now I had to change my first impression of him; from a stressed person, to a person becoming stronger.

 l