MESMERIZING MUSIC

I have a keen ear for music. So even as I take a walk, or pass a tea stall, if any good song is playing, it registers in my mind.

Before CDs came into market, I used to purchase at least 5 cassettes every month.

Sometimes I stumbled upon excellent personal albums.

One such cassette was a collection of devotional songs by S.P.Balasubramaniam, one of the most melodious singers of our times. This cassette I purchased in 1990.

This cassette had songs written and music composed by the same person, Ravi. All the songs were sung by SPB.

Of the ten odd songs two were outstanding in music and lyrical content. 

My favorite was the song, “Poo malarvadu pol”, a song written in praise of Saraswathi, the Goddess  of knowledge and arts.

As technology changed I got the song transferred to a pen drive, and later to my smart phone.

The lyrics though good were complicated. So even though I knew the tune I could not sing the song fully.

The song was in Tamil. Even though Tamil is my mother tongue, I could not write it well, as it was not my language in my school.

But the problem was solved with, http://tamil.indiatyping.com/  where we key in English and it is converted to Tamil. 

This is the song.

பூ மலர்வது போல் உயிரிடை நீ மலர்வதனால்

நீ மலர்ந்ததும் மனம் முழுவதும் தீ வளர்வதனால்

தீ மலரென  நான் அழைத்ததும் வா கலைமகளே

தீ சுடரிடை தேன் மழையென தா கவிதைகளே

நீர் நிலைகளில் மீன் புரள்வதுபோல் நினைவிடையே

கார்முகில்களும் தாரகைகளும் தாம் உலவிடவே

வெண்நிலவெனவே எழுந்திடும் புன்னகை ஒளியே

புன்னகை இடை பொன்மழையென தா கவிதைகளே

புல் நுனிகளில் வெண்பனி துளி வந்து அமர்வதுபோல்

என் உணர்விலும் உன் சதங்கைகள் நின்று  அசைந்திடுமே

கண்மணிகளில்  விண்மணிகளின்  நிழல்  விரிவது போல்

உன் சதங்கைகளில் கவிதைகள் வந்து உயிர்த்திடுமே

கவிஞர் – ரவி

Now with the lyrics in hand I sang the song in 2017, almost 27 years after I got the cassette,  and have posted it on you tube. Kindly listed by clicking on the link. https://youtu.be/RrQDsBXIBFU Hope you too enjoy the song.

Thank you. 

CELEBRATING CHANGE.

I am one who is trendy. I am 63 years old. But I still am well kept, thanks to genetics. I eat sensibly, sleep well, have a stroll for 30 minutes a day, be happy and find humor in all situations.

So, when I watch the TV, I note the latest trends, and adapt anything that suits me. For quite sometime, I had wanted to grow a beard, like the guys of now-a-days.

The process of growing a bread is painful as it gives a sickly look. So I had to postpone the idea. I still work, as a trainer, so looking sick is not good, while training.

My mother passed away on July 7^th peacefully in her sleep. She was in good health at 90 years. So I did not mourn her death as much as I would miss her.

According to our tradition, men are not supposed to shave during the mourning period. No one, either  in the office or home  could make any negative comment about  the growing beard during this period.

So in mourning I had also got a chance to fulfill my long pending desire to sprout a beard. First in a few days I had a salt and pepper beard. I was not sure whether it really suited me.

This is how I looked without a beard

So I uploaded my picture on facebook, to check out the comment.

The results were encouraging.  283 likes. 54 positive comments.

It was time to take it to the next level.

I trimmed it, as was the recent trend, and dyed it deep brown, on 3^rd August morning. As I washed off the dye, half an hour later, and checked my image in the mirror, I was taken aback by the result.

It was the first time in my entire life, I was totally impressed. It was so amazing to see  a much younger reflection of myself in the mirror. It was like oh WOW.

So the next step was to upload the pic on FB. The feed back did a lot to boost my confidence.

435 like and 49 positive comments.

I dressed with extra care that day and made it to the office.

My colleagues said I HAD FINALLY ARRIVED.

It was a good day. My spirits were buoyant, and I never felt so good about myself in a long time.

I still feel good. Thanks to the beard that made the difference.

 

 

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MISFITS

My mother is 88 years today. It is her birthday. But she does not want to talk to me. Why? It is because of her adamancy and wrong value systems.

She has been an independent person. Too independent to be a mother. She has had her way, all the time, always. She has never questioned herself, whether her decision and actions were right or wrong. Whether it would do her family and children good or bad. Whether it would cause them pain or not. She was only bothered about having her way.

It was always I, Me, Myself.

Normally it is the children who misbehave, and parents who correct them. But in our family it was the other way around. They would misbehave, and we had to put up with the moods and forgive them each time.

Now I am 63 years old, and I have become tired of tolerating and forgiving.

So when she refused to take my call. I let go. Enough is enough.

I am not blaming her.

She was married at the young age of 13. She was not marriage material at all. She had no wife or parental instincts. But no one asked for her opinion, in those olden times.

She used to dance well and was good at acting. She had aspired to make it up in movies. She would have fitted the industry, glove in hand. With her wayward and I don’t give a damn attitude, together with her thirst for money, popularity and fame, she would have used and thrown everyone to become No.1.

But, it was not to be so. She was caught up, in a society where she could not be herself. Living a frustrated life, where reality was so drab and dull before her technique color dreams, she did give a damn, about her husband or children.

It hurts. When I, a person so caring and affectionate, is being treated like dirt. But I am this way. I believe in doing my duties as much as she allows me to. Going out of the way has become a practice for me.

With the escalating cost of a senior citizen home, diapers and personal attendant, she is high maintenance.

All this trauma for me, because of attitudinal problems of my mom.

Now why am I saying this?

First check the material you are made up of.

You may a lover material but not a husband or father stuff. Be a lover. Don’t punish some person by marriage. If you are not parent material, do not have children.

You need not do things which do not suit you. If you do, then not only do you punish yourself but also your family who do not deserve your wrong attitude.    

In this century, where people take pride in being LGBT, you too have to come out your closet, and admit to yourself first, that this is what I am. And I take full responsibility for that. And I will not punish some innocent soul with my wrong decisions.