FULL CIRCLE - NOT ONCE BUT TWICE

I was born in 1954 in Calcutta. I had two elder sisters. In our custom, when the child is a year old, we shave the head of the child, in our family temple, pray to the presiding deity  and pierce  the ears of the child, and put earrings. My parents had their roots in their native village in Tamilnadu, but as they had shifted to Calcutta, their perspective regarding such customs had slightly changed, due to exposure to different Bengali and Hindi culture. 

They did not totally deviate from this custom. They had my head shaved, but did not pierce my ears, as being a male I would never need to wear ear rings.

In 1983, my son was born. When he was a year old, I too followed the altered custom set by my parents. I too had his head shaved, but spared his ears from being pierced.

Later in one such ceremony of another child, I watched the helpless child scream in pain and fear as all the relatives pinned it down to help the jeweler   pierced its ears. It could not understand what was going on, and with its eyes streaming with tears, looked yearningly at its parents to rescue it from the     terrible plight.  The parents: willing victims of customs, were also crying helplessly. Of course the child recovered within minutes, after the ceremony was over and went about playing as though nothing had happened.

18 years later, in 2001, when my son joined college, it was the fashion for young men to wear a single ear stud on the left ear. So he told me to take him to the jewelers, to have his pierce with a shot gun.

I had vehemently opposed any sort of ear piercing for children to my wife and her family members. They were unquestioningly rooted in traditions.  Now I did not know what to do. Here my son was wanting to be fashionable, and I knew my wife and family would make fun of me, if I changed my stance.

So to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment, both my son and I, went on a Sunday, stealthily to the jeweler, and had his left ear pierced with a shot gun, which drove a single white stone stud into his ear lobe.  My grown up son held my hand while this happened, and winced in pain as the stud sank into place. A single drop of tear escaped his eyes. My heart sank as I watched his pain. When we came out he said ,”Thanks pa.”

We both returned home with fear of reprisal from my wife. Surprisingly she appreciated the cute ear stud, which made our handsome son quiet dashing in looks.   

Life had come a full circle. I had to eat my words, in utter humility.

As I saw the ear stud adding to my son’s charm, I wondered, ”Should I follow his example?” But I did not have the guts to do it, as I feared total opposition from my conservative wife. As the desire lay dormant in my heart, I knew it would find expression at the opportune moment.

Four years later, in 2005, my son graduated, and went to Mumbai for his employment. He cut his long hair short, removed his ear stud, to look suitable in an official environment.

 Few weeks later I had to go to Delhi  for 3 weeks,  for my official work.  I considered piercing my ear so that I could continuously wear the stud, for 3 weeks, so that the ear hole would not close. And I could do it without my wife’s disapproval. But I was 51 years old.  Would it be appropriate, at my age, I needed to know. So I called my son, and asked him for guidance. He said, “ Dad go ahead, do it. If you postpone it you will be growing older only. Do not worry, if you do not like it, you can always discard it.”

So I went ahead and my left ear had this shiny cute earring. Boy, it did look good. When I came back to Chennai, my wife told me, “ You are not wearing that hideous thing , when we go out together. “ I felt that was reasonable.

  So I used to wear it after office hours as I spent 2 hours in the gym, and when I went to movies or the bar with my friends. I was a mild freak by nature. This part of me was obvious when I was with my pals. When with family I was predictably serious and boring.

 The organization I was with closed down, and I had to move on. One of my l colleagues, who shared my wave length, presented me with a ear stud, with a small white stone. I treasure it, because it gives me a lot of solace to think that, there are some people who are alike me.

So, life has come a full circle once more. One never knows when we have to own ideas, which we had disowned, and when we have to disown all the concepts we held dear to our hearts.

Life changes, we change, and so do our perspectives.I am still a freak. What next? Should I go for a body tattoo? Let us see.