SELF-IMPOSED EXILE

My dad moved from his village to Calcutta in 1945. His elder brother was already there, with his family. They had three daughters.

My parents were yet to have children. My parents and my dad’s elder brother’s family lived in the same house; all the seven of them. Those days it was common to live as joint families.

By the time my two elder sisters and I were born, my dad’s elder brother with his family had moved to Delhi.

So in Calcutta we lived as 5 members; my parents and three children.

Time went by and when I married, the trend of living away from parents was just setting in. So me, my wife and only son lived in a house and my parents lived separately.

Some more time went by. My son married. Now he stays separately with his wife. A lot of individuality, lots of private space, lots of independence for all of us.    

Let us now look at the financial implications.

Three houses and three rentals. Three electricity bills. Three cooking and three maids to maintain the houses.

So far we have over the years bought 6 refrigerators, 6 TVs, 5 music systems, 3 DVD players, 4 cooking gas stoves.

Had all of stayed together we could have bought, at least 4 houses in Chennai. 

Why did this happen? Because, our tolerance levels are very low. We do not  treat family members with consideration. Each of us feel that the most important person is I.

Living together is very demanding. It is possible only when all of  us, place others before ourselves. Be genuine and caring, maintain a respectable distance, from each other, and be kind towards each other.

Until this attitude comes, all of us will continue to be poor, despite of the fact that we can be much better off; Emotionally and financially. We should realize that living as joint family, means so much security, for children who come from school, for elders in the house, for the people who have been enfeebled by sickness or old age. There are little chances of depression setting in. We learn to share with each other. And we have the comfort of having someone in each age group, right from a toddler, to a senior citizen. And finally not having to spend time all alone bereft of company, in a self-imposed exile.